LIPPIES V3 - THE PARODY
by JULIE-SU LOVES YOU
Summary: A parody of possibly one of the most messed-up fanfictions written in all of history, besides those romantic M/AO things anyway. The original story was actually written as a comic thing. (I was the one to write the original fanfiction, but looking back on it, I hate it).


_Here I introduce to you a parody of "Lippies V.3", possibly one of the worst Sonic fanfics, if not fanfics in general, ever written. At least besides all that romantic M/AO crap that's out there. It was originally written as a comic book series thing. There were eleven books, so the chapters will be divided by books (although there are chapters in each book). The reason why it's called "v.3", which means "version three" if you didn't get that, is because there are actually to versions of it before. There was the original Lippies Sonic fanfiction, which was given to my neighbour and has since then disappeared (and was the first Sonic fanfiction I ever wrote), and there is version two, which was the first rewrite of Lippies. Now v.2 in itself was pretty bad, but it was shorter than v.3, had less stuff, some things were different, wasn't AS graphic/dealt with mature subject matter and was really badly written. I don't even count version 2 when it's compared to version 3. There will be a version 4, but it will be a lot different from the past three versions. If you want to learn more about "Lippies", you can just search "Lippies Sonic" in Google. (I don't advise you searching things like that in images, especially "Lippies book", because although I've deleted them off my deviantART by now, the pages from v.3 still show up anyway and they can be life scarring if you go on the wrong page...) Lippies is not a shipping fanfiction by the way. It actually goes against shipping, but, I think it went a little overboard on the whole "anti-shipping" thing..._

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**Book #1: Sonic Returns**

Prologue

_Tails could NEVER forget that HORRIBLE day when he had WOKEN UP in that CREEPY hospital...and Sonic had gone insane... He was not sure what exactly had happened to him..._

"THERE YOU ARE, MILES PROWER!" screamed Sonic, shoving Knuckles into a wall and holding a gun.

_Knuckles and Tails had escaped and ran away...a lot of people got killed, while others went MYSTERIOUSLY missing, including a lot of old..._"friends". _Knuckles and Tails did survive, however, conveniently._

_During the "INCIDENT", Knuckles and Tails did go back to ANGEL ISLAND..._

"TAILS...this place seems like it's DIEIEIEIEING OR something..." muttered Knuckles as he and Tails walked through the GLOOMY whatevers of Angel Island.

_HOWEVER, THE MASTER EMERALD HAD CLEARLY VANISHED._

"IT'S GONE, TAILS! LET'S JUST GO...THE WORLD WILL PROBABLY BE DESTROYED OR SOMDNFKSJFDNKJSFD..." Knuckles complained, when they suddenly turned around.

"..." said Tails, which isn't saying anything at all.

_Once Sonic disappeared, Tails moved back into his old workshop and Knuckles lived in Sonic's old house, because, you know, Sonic obviously had a house this whole time._ I don't think I need these things..._ thought Knuckles, who apparently didn't give a crap about Sonic's belongings and probably threw them out._

_FOR NEARLY FOUR YEARS, KNUCKLES AND TAILS LIVED THERE WITHOUT A SIGN OF SONIC OR ANY OF THE OTHER CHARACTERS. THEY NEVER REALLY LEFT OFTEN OR TALKED TO ANYONE ELSE, BECOMING SOCIAL OUTCASTS OF THEIR WEIRD SOCIETY. TAILS EVEN NOTICED SOMETHING WAS VERY DIFFERENT ABOUT KNUCKLES, BUT DESPITE BEING A NOW TWELVE-YEAR OLD, OR HOWEVER OLD GENIUS LITTLE BOY HE DIDN'T THINK TWICE THAT MAYBE KNUCKLES WAS GOING MENTALLY INSANE SINCE THEY WERE DEPRIVED FROM SOCIETY FOR FOUR YEARS. KNUCKLES WAS NOT THE SAME AS TAILS ORIGINALLY REMEMBERED..._

Chapter 1: Food...

Knuckles was having a lovely day picking grapes. Because, you know, that's what he does all day apparently. He ate them but then he spat them out since they were gross. PUTUI!

"Blech! These stupid grapes are sour!" he complained. So he decided to pick some blackberries instead, but they got stuck in his teeth or something. "Blech! These stupid blackberries aren't ripe enough!" so Goldilocks I mean Knuckles spotted one of those trees you find in the normal chao garden in Sonic Adventure 2, and knocked down one of the fruits, or nuts, or whatever they are. He tried eating it. "Blech! I don't like how these stupid things taste!" and then he started walking, thinking about nothing.

"HEY KNUCKLES! HAPPY TWENTIETH BIRTHDAY!" screamed Tails from a tree branch, which he was laying across in a very awkward position.

"Yeah. Thanks." Knuckles replied UNGRATEFULLY.

Tails flew down from the random tree in the middle of nowhere. "Ummm...you're welcome?" he replied.

"There's nothing to freaking eat around here." Knuckles complained, being rather annoying and complain-y.

Tails had a really creepy, smart-Alec face. "WHY WON'T YOU GO EAT SOME ANTS! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! JUST KIDDING! i know you don't like them..." he laughed, because his joke was SUPAR DUPAR hilarious.

"Yeah. Hilarious." Knuckles replied with deep emotion.

"Welll...I found some rings and I figured for yo B-DAY this year I could buy yo somethang...we could also get some actual food, yo know just a suggestion..." Tails suggested.

"WHY WOULD YOU WASTE YOUR MONEY ON ME. IT'S LIKE NOT LIKE I WAS LIKE ABLE TO LIKE GET YOU LIKE ANYTHING...SOME LIKE FOOD IS LIKE ALL WE LIKE REALLY NEED LEIK." Knuckles argued, or like, something.

(In a whiny nasally kid voice) "If you say so...I understand you couldn't get me ANYTHING for my birthday...not even an ant, I mean, what? my other gifts weren't too great, yo. But you do sort of take care of me, in a totally not-creepy sort of way." Tails explained.

"Yeah. WHATEVER. Let's just go." Knuckles said.

Chapter 2: Kissy Lips Cereal

Suddenly, Tails was in a town, supposedly with Knuckles, and he pointed at a store labeled "Corner S".

"Look, Knuckles! Here's a corner s!" Tails exclaimed.

And then Knuckles's face looked really creepy. "THANKS. IT'S NOT LIKE I COULDN'T SEE THAT. NOW LET'S HURRY UP LITTLE KID AND GET SOMETHING BEFORE WE DIE OF STARVATION, BECAUSE THAT IS TOTALLY NOT A REFERENCE TO SOMETHING THAT LATER HAPPENS IN THE DUMB FANFICTION."

"O...kay..." Tails replied quietly, with soft, worried hesitation.

Inside the store, Tails spotted a box of mint cookies, and began to amuse himself by looking at the box and saying "cookies!" while meanwhile Knuckles amused himself by looking at a bottle of baby food (he was totally debating on stealing it). But then Knuckles got sidetracked when he suddenly turned around and screamed "WHAT THE HECK?!"

"What?!" Tails screeched. He noticed it too. "What the heck?!" It was a stand of KISSY LIPStm CEREAL! And it was only five rings for each box! Wow!

Tails suddenly had a box in his hands and was observing it. "What in this holy sacred world is this?" he asked.

"I don't think I want to know..." replied Knuckles, who was indeed still holding the baby food. He turned around. "Wait a second..." *ZOOM INTO A PICTURE OF SONIC'S FACE WHICH IS PART OF THE KISSY LIPStm CEREAL SIGN, UNDERNEATH LABLED "BY SONIC THE HEDGEHOG"* "SONIC MADE THIS?!"

"WHAT?! but...but..." Tails murmured.

"And he has big lips..." Knuckles remarked.

"How could he still be alive?" Tails asked. Then a random Australian skunk named Jeremy, even though his name has NEVER been mentioned in ANYTHING, appears out of nowhere.

"LOOK MUM! LOOK WHAT SONIC MADE! KISSY LIPStm CEREAL!" and then he ran straight into Knuckles since he is apparently blind. "Sorry...I...huh?" he mumbled. "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! IT'S KNUCKLES! I WISH I HAD LIPPIES!" and he ran away.

"What?"

DID SOMEBODY SAY LIPPIES?! Buy Luigi's lippies here for only one ring!

Knuckles: "SONIC!" BECAUSE SUDDENLY THIS IS IN SCRIPT FORM

Chapter 3: Lippies

SMASH! The baby food hit the floor after hitting Tails in the face.

Sonic: Why were you holding a jar o' baby food?

Knuckles: I DON'T KNOW! WHY DO YOU HAVE BIG LIPS?!

Sonic: They're my lippies! Like them?

Knuckles: Uuuuuuuhhhhhh...

Tails: *FROM BEHIND KNUCKLES* Um...Knuckles...can we-

Sonic: "TAILS! MY LITTLE BRO! ARE YOU OKAY? KNUCKLES DIDN'T HURT YOU, DID HE?

Knuckles: why would I hurt him

Suddenly there is a creepy group of VARIOUS ANIMALS, who all have LITTLE LIPS standing by the door of the CORNER S. AN UGLY DOG, A RAVEN, A PORCUPINE AND AMY ROSE.

Ugly dog: Soooniiiccc! We need to goooo!

Raven: We called teh soldiers!

Sonic: Good...good...SEE YA, KNUCKLEHEAD!

SLAM!

Knuckles: Huh? What soldiers?

THEN SUDDENLY, THE HEDGEHOG THAT APPEARED IN LIPPIES VERSION 1 AND A CAT WHO LOOKS MUCH OLDER APPEAR AT THE DOOR.

Hedgehog: There he is!

Cat: Hurry before he gets away!

Author's note: DID YOU KNOW, THAT A HEDGEHOG AND A CAT TOGETHER MAKE A HEDGECAT, ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR HYBRIDS AMONG SONIC CHARACTERS FOR UNKNOWN REASONS?

Knuckles: *WITH BIG PICHU EYES* *wait what* Huh?!

Tails: KNUCKLES! /AUTHOR'S NOTE: prepare to hear that a lot from Tails later on

Knuckles: LEAVE US ALONE *punches the hedgehog and cat simultaneously, because that's possible* and he runs out the store

Hedgehog: *suddenly standing up again, because I guess he had an ANIME FALL* Great! He ran off! C'mon! Let's go!

SLAM!

And Tails just stands there, completely and utterly confused of what the heck just happened.

Chapter 4: Dr. Lee Thompson

Tails lifts a watermelon onto the counter suddenly.

Creepy mole behind the counter: *in a creepy old man voice* OOOOooooOOOOooooOOhhhhHHH! You muuusususustttt bbebeebeee Ttaaaaaaiiiiillllsss! That'll be 7 rings please.

Tails: *thinking* What the heck... *talking* where's my... *thinking* Oh right, I forgot I put them in my shoe where they probably smell like feet now, and because I don't have fur pockets, and then I go a huge spiel about fur pockets and how that amazing invention was lost.

Creepy mole: Thannnkkk yoooouuuu and have a DELIGHTFUL DAY! FANTASTO! I hope this DELECTABLE watermelon TICKLES YOUR FANCY!

Tails: Ummmm...okaaaaay..."

BACK..."home"

Tails: Knuckles!

Knuckles is standing there, just standing there, making yet another creepy face and staring and completely nothing. He suddenly turns around when Tails SWEATDROPS and tells him to take the watermelon, which apparently ways more than gold, and dumps it on Knuckles whose spike things on his left hand suddenly grow another inch.

Knuckles: Wha-

Knuckles dropped the watermelon on his foot, and the verb tense changes a lot. Kinda like having pass present participles of characters, you know? Wait, what? Because the heavier-than-the-heaviest-element-ever watermelon fell on his foot, Knuckles brought his leg up and kicked the watermelon across the...lawn? as Tails watches it and it smashes against a tree.

Tails: Oh.

Knuckles: Great. All of that for nothing.

Tails: Well, it's still edible...

Knuckles: UGH. WHATEVER. I'M STARVING AND WE CAN'T LIKE GO BACK SO LET'S EAT IT ANYWAY

Tails: Hey Knuckles...I was just talking to you, and did you notice that Amy Rose was there?

Knuckles: *EATING THE WATERMELON PIECE* AMY ROSE? I'M MORE WORRIED ABOUT SONIC! WHAT THE HECK IS WITH THE LIPS? WHY IS EVERYONE ACTING LIKE I'M EVIL?

Tails: Yeah...and the whole "lippies" thing is actually kinda scary... Speaking of which, what happened to Rouge? Because I don't care about the other characters, and well, you know, she stalked you. Did she die or something from Dr. Eggman's dumb machine, when he was trying to kill animals with a spinning blade? And you'd think she would be part of Lippies...

Knuckles stares at Tails blankly, and Tails stared at him back, while once again the verb tense changed in the middle of a sentence.

Knuckles: *walking away* ...Stupid...creepy...annoying...

Tails: Okay... *thinking* I should go insisde...I mean, it's probably safer then just standing out here because Sonic's back and he'll PROBABLY find us. I guess I shouldn't have brought up Rouge, and I just start rambling in my head about Dr. Eggman trying to kill us one time, and that Knuckles basically doesn't like her or like talker about her.

Tails: *notices a paper flapping in the door or something* Huh? This paper must have blown here and got stuck! I conveniently talk to myself about why this paper that is actually important is conveniently here!

Paper reads: LIPPIES! SONIC'S BACK, AND WITH HIM IS AMY ROSE, MOUSSY THE DOG, (PRONOUNSED MOOSE-EE, PEOPLE, NOT MOUSE-EE) MWAH THE RAVEN, AND SPIKE THE PORCUPINE! WITH SPECIAL HELP FROM DR. LEE THOMPSON!

Tails: ...Dr. Lee Thompson...?

Tails then has flash backs to bottles of acne cream, and when he was apparently talking to Sonic and Knuckles about Dr. Lee Thompson at some point in time. And how he didn't like the feeling he got from that TERRIFYING, MYSTERIOUSO name.

Tails: KNUCKLES! SOMETHING REALLY BAD IS GOING ON!

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_It doesn't start to get too messed-up until like book 6..._


End file.
